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'S.O.S. I'm a College Student' by Emily Chance

6/9/2019

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S.O.S. I’m a College Student
By Emily Chance
​
I’m nearing the end of my first year of college and I have come to realize that it’s nothing like the movies. I have never been to a party. I haven’t found my calling. I haven’t come to realize the great thing I am destined for. Instead, I’m lost. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve noticed that college students think about four basic things.

Money.  I work my butt off at a job who underpays me and underappreciates me. I don’t make enough money to live on. I always come down to: “Should I eat, or should I put gas in my car for this week?” My car is messing up? Just turn up the radio. It’s not broken if you can’t hear it.

Food. I literally have a new appreciation for nearly all food. If you give me food, I will gladly accept it whether it’s a burger, salad, squid, whatever. I am eternally grateful. I have eaten things I used to be repulsed by due to the sheer fact that it is what I HAVE. I have no time or enough money to eat. Sometimes I don’t even manage to eat more than once a day. A lot of those times, it’s because I forget or I’m too busy with work or school and I lose track of time. When I realize how late it is, I realize I should just go to bed instead.

Sleep. I need to get my homework done, but I’ve also been doing homework for so long I haven’t slept for two days. Should I chug another redbull/coffee mixture or miss this assignment because I couldn’t get it done in time? Is it normal to sleep while attending college? There’s a bed in the dorm, but that’s piled up with books, crumbs, and disappointment.

Static. The basic thoughts are nothing but static. Going through homework, typing things out, only to laugh tiredly and say, “I don’t think I did this right, but it’s done and it looks kind of okay?” Just last week I was supposed to plot the points of and draw mercury’s orbit around the sun. The teacher said the shape was going to be a smooth ellipse.  What I got was a very drunk mercury whose orbit resembled a two-year-old’s drawing. I couldn’t get help, either. Why? Because my lab partners were also thinking static thoughts. One was staring at my paper zoned out talking about a hangover, another one kept drawing lines that looked like contemporary art, and then there’s the other one who slid a ruler in the clip of his mechanical pencil and made airplane noises as he “flew” the “plane”.

Check on your college people. We are not okay. There are finals. We need food, sleep, and proper care because in college, we are basically below the intelligence of kindergarteners placed in a large place and given lots of responsibility. We have all the responsibility and are told we will run this world, but honestly? We are all like my third lab partner. Update: He crashed the plane…

Edited by Klancy Hoover
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