There are ways to get your point across without shoving your opinion in everyone’s face. A well written book would make the reader think with an open mind even if the topic is something that the reader disagrees with. This author did not accomplish this. He uses words such as “should” and forces his opinion on the reader. He states his opinions as if they are fact. He also frequently puts down others in the field of counseling and psychology as idiots and takes an egocentric stand. I neither disagree nor agree with everything in this book. The tone in which it is written is an immediate turn off in the same way that an aggressive conversation style in a disagreement will have the effect of putting one on the defensive and making things worse instead of making the other open to hearing what you have to say.
There are many that will completely disagree with his free love, non-monogamous relationship stance, and advocating for youth to be sexual at a young age. The author freely acknowledges this. He did nothing to try to get his point of view across in a way that people with this mindset would want to hear. Anyone who is anxious and insecure about sex in the first place does not need to be figuratively beaten over the head and called stupid for feeling the way they do. I feel that he pushed multiple sexual partners and open relationships without saying enough about how harmful it can be to open your relationship up for the wrong reasons. He did touch on this briefly but the main tone of the book is that everyone should sleep with whoever they want and be as kinky as they want and if their partner doesn’t like it they should just leave their partner. He says that any sexuality is okay and does not exclude anything that is harmful to another person or that is against the law.
I shared this book with some colleagues of mine and also with other people who are more liberated in their sexual desires and practices and still didn’t get any positive reviews about this book, which is a shame, because a book that shatters the sexual oppression that many have is much needed. I know of many cultures and families that only talk shamefully about sex and teach their children that it is bad and they shouldn’t do it, yet these same children grow up to get married and nobody ever tells them about the joys of sex. To many, it remains a shameful thing that they are not supposed to enjoy, not supposed to experiment with, and certainly not supposed to talk about. I was hoping that this book would be one that would help educate and open people’s eyes in a positive and healthy way but I was sorely disappointed and will not be recommending this book.
Kristi King-Morgan, LMSW