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'Judge Positive Qualities, Not Flaws' by Emily Chance

9/22/2018

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Judge Positive Qualities, Not Flaws
By Emily Chance
​
The problem with the world is that we all define ourselves by our sob story, which makes everyone else define us by our problems as well—that one thing that happened in our lives that changed us forever. To a lot of people, I am the girl whose mom abandoned her. My friend is the one who got his girlfriend pregnant. My other friend is the goody-two-shoes who complains about her life when nothing is wrong.

However, if people looked deeper, they would realize that I’m the girl who lets nothing stand in her way when it comes to her goals. They don’t realize that my guy friend is going to be serving in the military to fight for our freedom. They don’t realize that my female friend is so tight with her family that she stays strong enough to never let them know she is battling with depression. All of us have something inside of us that we are battling, whether it be depression, an illness, a hardship, and when someone finds these issues out, we become defined by them.

Just for once I want someone to look past the hurt and everyone’s problems to say, “that girl is a warrior. She is strong enough to conquer whatever life gives her” or “that guy may have gotten his girlfriend pregnant, but he stayed with her instead of running away when that child came out. He is an amazing father.”

I love looking into people’s eyes. Eyes tell stories. You can see everything someone is feeling just by looking in their eyes. At first glance, you only see colors; then you see pain and brokenness, but if you look even deeper, if you don’t define them by their problems and you stick with them, you will see love. You will see dedication and strength.

We are far too complicated to be defined as “broken” or “abandoned” or “no one.” Instead, we should define others by their accomplishments: “That man went out of his way to volunteer with neglected children who have nothing to eat, and he gave them food, hope, and love, if only for a couple minutes.”

The only issue that that when something good happens, it can change in a moment. You feel bad for laughing and having a good time even when there was no way you could have known something else was going on. One day you’re walking through the hallways at school and for once in your life, you feel confident and enough, but someone makes fun of you; suddenly, your life is turned upside down.

Some people hurt others just the see the world burn. It is up to the rest of us to treat people with kindness. With a little compassion and understanding, the world would be a much better place. There would be less death, less anxiety, and an overall increase in positivity. I want to be the generation that brings back faith in humanity. Instead of judging everyone all the time, I want to accept them for who they are.

Edited by Allison Naumann
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