Every time we have a big election
in America, my wife of many years
asks me if I’m going to vote
in the primary although she knows
I never do because one has to declare
one’s party, something I don’t do.
My wife always votes in the primary
and wants to know which party I favor,
a secret I’ve managed to keep hidden
all these years which is probably
why I’m still married.
When I tell her no primary vote for me,
she takes the next step and asks if
I were going to vote in her primary,
which of the two candidates this year
would I vote for.
I realize she wants to know if I’d vote
for the waddling duck or the old roadrunner.
So I buy some time and tell her I’ll have to think
about it and I’ll give her my answer after dinner
because I like dinner and she’s a good cook.
After dessert I say if I were going to vote in
her primary, I’d vote for the old roadrunner
although that has nothing to do with his politics.
I just like him better than the duck, I say.
And my wife surprises me and says
she's voting for the roadrunner too but
not to tell any of the neighbor ladies.
They would label her a traitor.